I am not a trained professional

Occasionally I get people who latch onto me in real life or online who seem to think I am a therapist. 
While I am more than willing to give support to my friends, family,  neighbors, and coworkers,  I'm not too keen on becoming someone's little helper if I really do not know the person.  I'm not saying I won't be empathetic.  I think part of my problem sometimes is that I can feel too much of what others are feeling.  However, this usually applies to someone with whom I have some kind of relationship. 

I have friends from okc that I've never met but feel like I know.  There are several that I talk to about very personal things and I'm perfectly at ease with this.  However, when someone I've only talked to online for less than a week begins to discuss his relationship problems with me and then proceeds to reveal some very personal information with me after we've met on a dating site, I get a bit wary.

I can identify with some of what this person is going through.  I can understand feeling lonely, afraid that being single will be forever, and feeling like he will never feel what he felt with a previous love- I get all that.  I really do.  But I am not here to fix that.  I can tell him that everyone feels that, I can assure him that it passes, and I can suggest some things that may help with personal issues (such as the right therapist and meds), but in the end I am not here to fix anyone.  I'm not here to make anyone feel less desperately lonely.  Quite frankly, if that is how one is feeling, then dating may not be an option at the moment.

I initially joined okc pretty much feeling just that.  My heart was broken, my self esteem was pretty awful, and I more or less felt like I was made of glass inside.  I was not girlfriend material.  I was not even fit to meet anyone for a cup of coffee.  I was a hot mess and made some pretty bad decisions as a result.

In time things got better.  I began liking myself again, I found joy and contentment in my life just as it was, and I eventually had a stable and functional relationship for almost a year.  Although it ended, I don't view it as a failure.  I learned that I am in good working order and I'm capable of something I wasn't sure I was anymore and I view that as a very good thing.

Still...

I don't have any great words of wisdom for you.  I can't make it all better.  That isn't my job, your mom's job, your friends' job, or anyone's.  It's yours.



You.