Yesterday, I stopped by the classroom of a coworker/friend and found out that she and her boyfriend had ended their relationship via text message.
Although she was upset and a bit teary, it was hard for me to not feel like he had done her a favor. He was going to Kuwait for a year, he had not done anything for her on Mother's Day, and instead of spending his last few days with her and her toddler, he had spent it working on his car. He had expected her to take a day off of work so they could hang out. When a spat ensued, he had taken off and was MIA for three days after drinking with the boys.
Oh yes, and he's a racist homophobe who thinks his lesbian sister is going to hell for choosing to be gay, and he calls black people who piss him off niggers. (BTW, as teachers, we agree to teach and treat everyone with respect, so that kind of talk doesn't fly with most of us in the public school system. Maybe at Greater Grace Academy, but not where I am).
Yes, he has a nice body. His arms alone are dreamy. But early on, some of the things he did/said, raised little red flags in my head. Since I have lost friends over voicing concerns about assholes they were in love with, I kept my big mouth shut. I figured it was only a matter of time before this loving, caring, exuberant and wonderful woman figured out that she had allowed the biggest twat to live with her.
Luckily, he will ship out in a few days and she can give herself some time to heal and move on. After seeing the tall frosty ones she was pounding down at Happy Hour last night, I do believe that process has begun.
In the meantime, I think this guy has given her the best going away present he could have possibly given.
Her breakup got me thinking again about all the warning signs I blissfully and willfully ignored when I first began to date my ex husband. Some of them were later voiced by friends and family who kept it to themselves until long after my separation and divorce. While I would like to think I would not have ended a relationship with these people due to something like this, I still wonder what my reaction could have been. Would I have been more tuned into his drinking if someone had pointed out that he was drunk in the morning when he came over to help with cable? I don't know.
What I do know is that there was some part of me yesterday that envied the short time she had to find out her mistake. It took me 11 years.
